That evening, while Latarra was still away, Kurt surprised me. As always, I was in my little corner of Latarra's chambers, chatting with two of her servants about their brands and what mine might look like when Latarra finally made her ownership of me official. I know, I know, and I promise you I had no intention of letting that happen, but that's the kind of thing the girls liked to talk about, and short of sex, it's really pretty much all that these particular girls were good for. Beggars and humans in a Karga household can't be choosers.
In a true display of warped Karga chivalry, Kurt came into the room accompanied by a frazzled looking serving wench carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses and a nervous looking waiter type with some sort of roasted meat, cheese, and bread on a platter.
"I've changed my mind, Fiona" he said with a smile, "about you and I, I mean. It occurred to me that between Latarra monopolizing you, and your size, you probably have never had a Karga male inside you."
Filys and Feebee, my companions at the moment, actually giggled at that line, and I had a hard time not joining them.
But I didn't. Kurt didn't scare me, mind you, but I needed his help with Pongo, and if that meant putting up with his posturing and bizarre behavior, I'd give it a shot.
"No, Kurt" i said. "In fact, you're the only Karga male that's ever even mentioned it. I suppose I should be flattered, but... honestly, the food and wine seems like a better approach."
Kurt grinned.
"Would you take a walk with me?" he asked, looking at Feebee and Filys.
And that's how Kurt and I started our private romantic dinner, accompanied by my two guards and Kurt's two servants. In all honesty, it wasn't that unpleasant. Kurt, although still bizarre and at times unfathomable, was actually curious about me and the world outside Kargel, and I, despite not liking him, was still aroused just sitting across from him.
I tried to be discrete, and eventually, it really was Kurt who brought up Pongo and not me.
"I just don't get it" Kurt said. "I'm Karga, and I'm used to getting my way with humans, but you Ferals, you're, different. Pongo does what I tell him, but only because he has to, not because he likes me. How do I make him like me?"
"Maybe, " I said, taking a bite of meat, "you should start being nice. Like by unchaining him, for a start."
Kurt looked like he'd never thought of that, and so, I went on, using the freedom and little gifts Latarra had given me as examples. By the end of the meal, Kurt had a lot to chew on, and I hoped he might even follow through with some of it, like letting me see Pongo.
It wasn't all that easy though. Kurt might or might not be "into" girls, notwithstanding the fact that he obviously had done plenty of experimenting, but he was curious about not just me, but his sister and I, and what we did. It was like he just didn't get the idea of sex without a male sex organ being involved. I went through it with him, but it wasn't easy. Honestly, to this day, talking about sex isn't nearly as easy for me as doing it.
The strange thing was, the more I talked with Kurt, the more I understood him, the less I hated him. He was a boy, not that much younger than I was, and he was really just trying to figure out how to relate to others and grow up, not liking his family or even the privileges his birth had given him.
The next day, Latarra came back and I spent the better part of a day on pins and needles, worrying that she'd find out about both about my inquiries about Pongo and my visits with Kurt. Latarra was tricky that way in several respects. First, while I really do think she was enamoured of me physically at least, and possibly even emotionally, there were some real limits to my lover's attachment to anything but herself. Second, she didn't exactly trust me. Although I think Latarra had come to recognize that I might be an exception to the general rule of physical inferiority to the Karga, she didn't, and likely never would see me as an equal. She vacillated sometimes between treating me as a pet and a child, but she really never did treat me as a peer.
In fact, the elephant in the room (yes, there are Elephants in Kargel by the way, although mostly much further South) was what exactly my status was and what it would be. Everyone but Latarra seemed to just assume she'd eventually brand me, and while I'd only made very discrete inquiries, no one had ever heard of a free Feral being granted Kargan rights like Latarra had hinted. I hadn't pushed the issue for a number of reasons. First, I wanted to make sure Alex and the boys were safely out of the country before I did anything that Latarra might see as reneging on our deal. Then there was Pongo. Until I could figure out a way to escape, I didn't want to rock the boat. Finally, I'll admit it. Making love with Latarra was so good that for awhile at least, the long term labels they put on our relationship and even my own freedom, didn't seem to matter all that much.
But something changed in Latarra when she came back. She made a point of kissing me when she saw me in the early afternoon, but as soon as we were alone after dinner that night, when I was expecting an embrace and a more passionate kiss, she surprised me and slapped me hard across the face. It was just a slap, but it hurt me far more than physically.
And then she started the abuse. She screamed at me, called me names, and when I didn't cower, she tried to hit me again, only this time with a closed fist. I probably should have just let her, but my instincts took over and I caught her fist, grabbed her other arm and held her there while she shook with rage. I let her vent for awhile and then, realizing that she wasn't really even trying to break free, let her go.
When she looked up at me, I could swear I saw a small tear in her eyes as she spoke.
"That was inexcusable" she said, and then shook her head, "on my part, I mean. I can't expect you to know what I don't tell you, and beating you out of anger was weakness on my part."
For Latarra, that was sort of an apology, or at least that's how I took it.
"So tell me" I said, "and stop beating yourself up over it already. Believe it or not, I'm a big girl and can accept a little anger. Its not like you really hurt me."
Latarra smiled as she ran her hand along my hip.
"There is that, at least. Don't you dare tell anyone, but with you, I like being smaller and weaker sometimes."
"Sometimes" I said, "maybe, but it bothers you too. I get that, Latarra."
"You get ME, Fiona, and I do love that about you, which is why I'm ... Concerned that Kurt seems to have taken an interest in you. I'd hoped his infatuation with your friend would keep him away from you, but you sought him out. He's my kin, Fiona, but he's not someone to trust."
I paused for a moment, and decided to level with Latarra. There was so much unsaid between us, at least I could let one thing out in the open.
"I don't trust him, Tar, but he's got my friend."
Latarra sighed, pressing herself against me.
"And I gave him to Kurt, to keep you for myself" she said, "which I don't regret. But you might."
I reached down then, picking up Latarra and kissing her, enjoying the way she writhed in my embrace.
After a few moments, she pulled back and I set her feet back on the floor.
"Kurt told our grandfather about Pongo and you" Latarra said, "which would be fine in and of itself, but there were others in the room. There's going to be pressure for me to brand you."
I said nothing for a long moment and Latarra stepped up and took my hand.
"I was hoping to avoid this, Fi. The Assembly has talked about giving Karga rights to worthy individuals before, but there's no law yet, and the current Premier is not going to do me any favors. Its not such a terrible thing, really. With my brand, Fiona, you'd be mine, and I could protect you as I would any other property."
"Its not about you, Tar" I said slowly, "I hope you know that."
Latarra nodded.
"Think on it, Fiona. Please. Legally, I have every right to force you, but ..."
I sighed before finishing her sentence.
"But having the right doesn't mean you would, or that you could?"
Latarra reached up and touched my cheek.
"I could try, Fi, but I'm not sure about would. Fiona, please just think about it. You've stayed with me this long and its just a legal thing, really."
Latarra pressed herself up against me again, putting her arms around my waist as she continued.
"We don't need to decide tonight, dear."
I looked down at Latarra for a long moment, inhaling her scent, watching her eyes, and especially her lips, which were moist but tense. This was the most vulnerable, the most human I'd ever seen her, and I knew it took a lot for her to show that side of herself to me. I didn't know what I'd do if push came to shove, any more than she did, but what I did know was that I wanted her then, and, that she deserved a reward.
"Good then" I said smiling as I slid one arm around her and picked her up, carrying her to the bed. "I've got a better way to spend tonight."
In a true display of warped Karga chivalry, Kurt came into the room accompanied by a frazzled looking serving wench carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses and a nervous looking waiter type with some sort of roasted meat, cheese, and bread on a platter.
"I've changed my mind, Fiona" he said with a smile, "about you and I, I mean. It occurred to me that between Latarra monopolizing you, and your size, you probably have never had a Karga male inside you."
Filys and Feebee, my companions at the moment, actually giggled at that line, and I had a hard time not joining them.
But I didn't. Kurt didn't scare me, mind you, but I needed his help with Pongo, and if that meant putting up with his posturing and bizarre behavior, I'd give it a shot.
"No, Kurt" i said. "In fact, you're the only Karga male that's ever even mentioned it. I suppose I should be flattered, but... honestly, the food and wine seems like a better approach."
Kurt grinned.
"Would you take a walk with me?" he asked, looking at Feebee and Filys.
And that's how Kurt and I started our private romantic dinner, accompanied by my two guards and Kurt's two servants. In all honesty, it wasn't that unpleasant. Kurt, although still bizarre and at times unfathomable, was actually curious about me and the world outside Kargel, and I, despite not liking him, was still aroused just sitting across from him.
I tried to be discrete, and eventually, it really was Kurt who brought up Pongo and not me.
"I just don't get it" Kurt said. "I'm Karga, and I'm used to getting my way with humans, but you Ferals, you're, different. Pongo does what I tell him, but only because he has to, not because he likes me. How do I make him like me?"
"Maybe, " I said, taking a bite of meat, "you should start being nice. Like by unchaining him, for a start."
Kurt looked like he'd never thought of that, and so, I went on, using the freedom and little gifts Latarra had given me as examples. By the end of the meal, Kurt had a lot to chew on, and I hoped he might even follow through with some of it, like letting me see Pongo.
It wasn't all that easy though. Kurt might or might not be "into" girls, notwithstanding the fact that he obviously had done plenty of experimenting, but he was curious about not just me, but his sister and I, and what we did. It was like he just didn't get the idea of sex without a male sex organ being involved. I went through it with him, but it wasn't easy. Honestly, to this day, talking about sex isn't nearly as easy for me as doing it.
The strange thing was, the more I talked with Kurt, the more I understood him, the less I hated him. He was a boy, not that much younger than I was, and he was really just trying to figure out how to relate to others and grow up, not liking his family or even the privileges his birth had given him.
The next day, Latarra came back and I spent the better part of a day on pins and needles, worrying that she'd find out about both about my inquiries about Pongo and my visits with Kurt. Latarra was tricky that way in several respects. First, while I really do think she was enamoured of me physically at least, and possibly even emotionally, there were some real limits to my lover's attachment to anything but herself. Second, she didn't exactly trust me. Although I think Latarra had come to recognize that I might be an exception to the general rule of physical inferiority to the Karga, she didn't, and likely never would see me as an equal. She vacillated sometimes between treating me as a pet and a child, but she really never did treat me as a peer.
In fact, the elephant in the room (yes, there are Elephants in Kargel by the way, although mostly much further South) was what exactly my status was and what it would be. Everyone but Latarra seemed to just assume she'd eventually brand me, and while I'd only made very discrete inquiries, no one had ever heard of a free Feral being granted Kargan rights like Latarra had hinted. I hadn't pushed the issue for a number of reasons. First, I wanted to make sure Alex and the boys were safely out of the country before I did anything that Latarra might see as reneging on our deal. Then there was Pongo. Until I could figure out a way to escape, I didn't want to rock the boat. Finally, I'll admit it. Making love with Latarra was so good that for awhile at least, the long term labels they put on our relationship and even my own freedom, didn't seem to matter all that much.
But something changed in Latarra when she came back. She made a point of kissing me when she saw me in the early afternoon, but as soon as we were alone after dinner that night, when I was expecting an embrace and a more passionate kiss, she surprised me and slapped me hard across the face. It was just a slap, but it hurt me far more than physically.
And then she started the abuse. She screamed at me, called me names, and when I didn't cower, she tried to hit me again, only this time with a closed fist. I probably should have just let her, but my instincts took over and I caught her fist, grabbed her other arm and held her there while she shook with rage. I let her vent for awhile and then, realizing that she wasn't really even trying to break free, let her go.
When she looked up at me, I could swear I saw a small tear in her eyes as she spoke.
"That was inexcusable" she said, and then shook her head, "on my part, I mean. I can't expect you to know what I don't tell you, and beating you out of anger was weakness on my part."
For Latarra, that was sort of an apology, or at least that's how I took it.
"So tell me" I said, "and stop beating yourself up over it already. Believe it or not, I'm a big girl and can accept a little anger. Its not like you really hurt me."
Latarra smiled as she ran her hand along my hip.
"There is that, at least. Don't you dare tell anyone, but with you, I like being smaller and weaker sometimes."
"Sometimes" I said, "maybe, but it bothers you too. I get that, Latarra."
"You get ME, Fiona, and I do love that about you, which is why I'm ... Concerned that Kurt seems to have taken an interest in you. I'd hoped his infatuation with your friend would keep him away from you, but you sought him out. He's my kin, Fiona, but he's not someone to trust."
I paused for a moment, and decided to level with Latarra. There was so much unsaid between us, at least I could let one thing out in the open.
"I don't trust him, Tar, but he's got my friend."
Latarra sighed, pressing herself against me.
"And I gave him to Kurt, to keep you for myself" she said, "which I don't regret. But you might."
I reached down then, picking up Latarra and kissing her, enjoying the way she writhed in my embrace.
After a few moments, she pulled back and I set her feet back on the floor.
"Kurt told our grandfather about Pongo and you" Latarra said, "which would be fine in and of itself, but there were others in the room. There's going to be pressure for me to brand you."
I said nothing for a long moment and Latarra stepped up and took my hand.
"I was hoping to avoid this, Fi. The Assembly has talked about giving Karga rights to worthy individuals before, but there's no law yet, and the current Premier is not going to do me any favors. Its not such a terrible thing, really. With my brand, Fiona, you'd be mine, and I could protect you as I would any other property."
"Its not about you, Tar" I said slowly, "I hope you know that."
Latarra nodded.
"Think on it, Fiona. Please. Legally, I have every right to force you, but ..."
I sighed before finishing her sentence.
"But having the right doesn't mean you would, or that you could?"
Latarra reached up and touched my cheek.
"I could try, Fi, but I'm not sure about would. Fiona, please just think about it. You've stayed with me this long and its just a legal thing, really."
Latarra pressed herself up against me again, putting her arms around my waist as she continued.
"We don't need to decide tonight, dear."
I looked down at Latarra for a long moment, inhaling her scent, watching her eyes, and especially her lips, which were moist but tense. This was the most vulnerable, the most human I'd ever seen her, and I knew it took a lot for her to show that side of herself to me. I didn't know what I'd do if push came to shove, any more than she did, but what I did know was that I wanted her then, and, that she deserved a reward.
"Good then" I said smiling as I slid one arm around her and picked her up, carrying her to the bed. "I've got a better way to spend tonight."
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